in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
