A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
