on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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