i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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