If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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