...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
