Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
