mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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