Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
