I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
