i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
