Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
