So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
