Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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