Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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