we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
