Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
