Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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