so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
