i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
