Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
