dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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