My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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