I'm going to jail i love you
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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