I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
