It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
