remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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