problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It was confusing and full of hummus
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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