I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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