If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
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