he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
