sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He? As in you personified your dick?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
