If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
