I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
