It's just like the Real World with babies
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
