thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
