Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
