Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
