Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
