Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
