Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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