Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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