Pappa wants mamma naked
She said her name was "party"
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
