I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
