Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
