is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
