remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
