I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
