You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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