dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
